On Recipes:
To understand why I’m doing iterative slaw recipes, I guess I need to include some back story. I was drinking with Mrs. Slaw and friends at one of the on-resort restaurants while on vacation in Mexico (If it sounds like I’m a wannabe lifestyle author/influencer about to tell you about my glamorous life as a humblebrag, stay with me, this isn’t a super flattering story), when I mentioned to the table that I used a list app to keep detailed reviews of staple dishes at restaurants where I’ve eaten. It was a decidedly non-sexy list of things like which VFDs near my house do good Lenten fish frys. Mrs. Slaw knew about the list and had avoided publically shaming me about it because she’s very graceful. For some reason, the detailed notes I kept on creamy cole slaw were what my friends found the most ridiculous. Since then there was this half-joke of a half-idea in my friend group that I could turn this Rain Man personality trait into a blog. I made little to no attempt to make it a thing afterward. Recently, an obstacle to realizing the blog was removed, forcing me to do something. You’re reading me shitting rather than getting off the pot.
I realized even before starting to write that my reviews of side dishes from specific restaurants in Western Pa would be of limited interest to anyone. Hell, I’m not even sure I would read that blog as described. So I realized what I needed to do was to seek to create the ultimate version of the dish on my own while also including reviews of my experiences eating other peoples’ cole slaw. Thus, starting with Batch #1 follows my attempt to make the best creamy slaw.
Ever.
Basic Recipe I followed:
Was found on allrecipes.com. I can’t seem to find the exact one when I revisited the site later. Pictures included show some of the ingredients, so I guess if you see it, I used it in this batch.
Ingredients used:
Mayo= Burman’s
Vinegar= Walmart Apple Cider Vinegar
Salt= Morton’s
Sugar= Unlabeled clear bin from the kitchen pantry. Mrs. Slaw told me it was sugar, but as always, trust but verify.
Pepper= From the grinder on the kitchen table
Cabbage= Source: Dilner Farms CSA. Used about 3/4 of a medium head
Carrot= Rando bag from the fridge. Used one large.
Lemon juice= I squeezed juice from a fresh-adjacent lemon
Photos:
Intentional deviations from Recipe:
None. This was a baseline test. Some measurements eyeballed.
Beer accompaniment:
Dragon’s Milk (2019) by New Holland Brewery. An old favorite. An 11 percenter- I split it with Mrs. Slaw so I didn’t lose any fingers to the box grater.
How I felt:
Seemed sweet at test, but after it sat overnight I thought it was good. Noted I wanted to add coarse ground pepper for appearance/texture in the future. Happy with dressing coat and adherence.
How others felt:
Tester #1 thought the level of pepper was sufficient when asked. Tester #1 thought it needed more acid and he mentioned that he adds some finely minced onion. I still consider Tester #1 a friend despite this horrible advice.
Mrs. Slaw thought that it was bland and suggested Miracle Whip instead of Mayo. Divorce was pondered and then disregarded since Mrs. Slaw usually gives good advice and is a good partner.
Grade:
M- for decidedly meh.
The notion that my first shot at this would be the best ever-which actually happened the first time I made Grilled Cheese- Mrs. Slaw would not, in fact, Grill me a Cheese that day- was quickly disconfirmed.